A good man

I spent the weekend with the girls. David was at home caring for the children. Saturday afternoon I spilled my heart to them. I don't usually do things like that because, quite frankly, I like to keep the deep parts of my heart to myself. I don't like to cry in front of people. I don't like to show emotion. That's me and I've come to accept it. 

There are moments when I just cannot contain myself any longer. I'm learning to embrace those moments, it's hard, but I'm learning. Saturday afternoon was one of those learning moments. Everything within me said, "keep it to yourself, no one cares really." I didn't listen to my logical self, I gave in. 

I opened up and it's still one of the hardest things for me to do. Harder than childbirth, seriously harder than push after push after push. During my tears, my friend said four little words to me. Four little words that spoke volumes. "He's a good man," she said. Sometimes less is more. Like when my sister, Lisa, passed away. Amongst the piles of sympathy cards we received, one card in particular stood out to me. It was from one of my dad's friends. I opened it and all it said was, "take care my friend." Even now, 16 years later, I still remember that card. 

When I returned home Saturday evening, after both children were asleep, I laid on our bed while David paced back and fourth, we talked. David always paces the floor when he talks to me. While he was talking, I was reminded of the words my friend said, "he's a good man." There stood before me, a good man. Tears began to fall, I quickly put my hands over my face to hide my tears. I couldn't hide them any longer. David sat next to me and inquired about my tears. I told him what my friend had said. I told him how I don't tell him often enough what a good man he is. I told him how much he truly means to me. I told him how I look up to him. How I admire him. I told how I'd rather live without worldly possessions and have him, then to have all the fancy material items under the sun. I told him over and over and over, "you're a good man, you're a good man, you're a good man." 

Then, out of the mouth of a good man came this...

"I give credit where credit is due. I'm a good man because of Jesus. It's Christ in me."

We sat there on the bed, shed a few tears together and marveled at what God is doing in our lives, right here, right now. To the world, our current struggles seem grim, to us, they are exciting. God is with us, I declare, God is with us.