dandelions

grace is an interesting thing.

as david says, it's knowing you don't deserve something, but getting it anyway.

this afternoon our backdoor was open. the children were in the backyard playing. i was cleaning the kitchen when eli ran into the house to bring me a dandelion. i kissed the top of his head as i took the flower and he ran back outside. emma followed shortly with another dandelion. i accepted the flower, kissed her curls and she ran back outside. there i stood with two dandelions in my hand.

the dandelions got me thinking about my previous post. about those feelings of failure which, quite honestly, i don't have very often. i am typically confident in my mothering abilities and the choices i have made for my children. when i make a mistake, i just pick myself up and continue. this last week was different.

those pesky dandelions that people typically see as ugly and unwanted, my children found beauty in them. they found them lovely enough to present them to me as a gift. it reminded me of the grace my children show me daily. it reminded me how my children see me as beautiful, as someone who can make bumps and bruises better, who can bring warmth to them when they are cold, who can make them feel safe and secure.

so yeah, i'm still working on showing grace to myself. but as i say often, the fact that i'm working on it makes all the difference.