thankful

yesterday i went to the grocery store. the children were both sitting in the shopping cart when i checked out. a gal offered to push my cart to my car and help me load up.

as we were walking, she said, "i bet you feel so blessed. you have a boy and a girl." i wanted to tell her how i dreamed of this life when i was a child. how i spent my entire pregnancy holding on to the same dream. but i didn't. i said, "i do feel blessed." and we continued to walk together in the fall wind.

i love thanksgiving. i like to feel the craziness of the season. but at the same time, be still in the spinning.

i am thankful and i don't need a holiday to verbalize it. but it just seems fitting. so, this is why i am thankful (in no particular order):

i am thankful for my parents. because even from 1,000 miles away, i can still feel their love. i am thankful for the packages they send that make me feel adored. i am thankful that their business blessed them for so many years and now has allowed them to retire. to pack up their motorhome in a few weeks and drive to texas.

i am thankful for my husband of 10 years. for his desire for adventure. for the way he supports our family all while understanding the importance of family. for the way he encourages my creativity and my wacky parenting style and doesn't even question me when i come up with a new project for the garden or home. i am thankful for the way he speaks grace over me and others. for the release grace has brought us.

i am thankful for these children of mine. for their curly hair. for their fingers covered in paint and glue. for the way they remind me that being a dreamer isn't so out of the ordinary. for the way they remind me to slow my pace daily so i don't miss a praying mantis in the grass or a cloud that looks like a puppy.

i am thankful for friends. for the dear high school friend who sent me a text yesterday wishing me a happy thanksgiving and thanking me for the years of friendship. i am thankful for my best friend kelly who practically saved me almost 4 years ago. for the way she thinks about me daily. for the way we share the same mind. how i often walk to the phone to call her and find that the phone is ringing with her calling me.

i am thankful for my in-laws. i so dislike the word in-laws, but there's no other way around it. for the way they supported the risk david and i took almost 4 years ago and joined us for the adventure. for the way they make my children their own when i have to work or when david and i decide to take a long overdue kidless vacation.

i could go on for miles. like 1,000 miles or so. but just know i am thankful. for the big things that are ever so visible and the small things that are usually overlooked.

i am thankful.