random thoughts of joy

i let the children decorate the tree this year. birds. handmade lovelies. glass balls. trinkets. cranberry garland. as they put ornaments every which way, i told myself i would 'fix' the tree once they went to bed. as night fell, i couldn't bring myself to do it. all the ornaments were on the lower half of the tree. the garland was dangling. birds were facing south. snowmen were turned around. the tree was perfect and i wouldn't have it any other way.

the house is quiet as it hits midnight. christmas eve has arrived. everyone is asleep but i, i am up baking cookies for our neighbors and thinking about this time last year. i received a text message from my best friend today. her family of 5 is traveling to florida for christmas. i tried to encourage her to hang in there and make it through the 18 hour drive. she did the same for me last year as we traveled 22 hours by car (a very small one!) to california. david and i sat at the dinner table tonight giggling about the trip. there were tense moments in the car but it was worth every moment.

today i thought about this time 5 years ago. i was so incredibly pregnant and about to dive into motherhood for the first time. i use to stay up late in the nursery listening to lullaby's and moving things around as i decorated the room for baby. those quiet moments i spent alone during the last few weeks of my pregnancy were priceless. it was those december moments when christmas felt a bit more real to me. i thought about mary.  i too was about to birth a child. mine would change my world. hers changed the world.

i am joyful because there's grace. and it is amazing. and a child was born some time ago that allowed us to experience grace. and that is worth everything.

merriest christmas from a very joyful me and those who make me happy.