Monday, April 6, 2009


I thought this week prior to Easter would be a great time to dedicate a few posts to my husbands testimony. His recent testimony. Conversations he had with God. A shower epiphany that took him to the west coast. And, how his life has been completely transformed. This may get wordy, but, it's a window into our lives.

(Rancho Cucamonga, California. Where we use to call home. Miles and miles away from Texas)

Our move to Texas was crazy. Seriously, you have no idea how many people offered us their negative opinions on our thoughts of moving and told us we were crazy. After the birth of Eli, we knew we had to do something about our housing situation. We lived in a cozy home in Ontario, California, but the neighborhood had declined and was not a place where we wanted to raise our children. So, we put our home up for sale and told everyone we were moving to Texas. David had never been to Texas, I had just traveled through when I was young on a family road trip. The crazy comments kept coming and coming but we were determined. Our home sold in a few months, we packed up and said goodbye to our home (we took the memories with us though) and we moved in with my parents while we traveled to Texas to buy a new home. Sure, we could have purchased another home in California, but we wanted to keep me at home with Eli and we longed to raise our children in a small town. 

Fast forward a little over two years. Now living in Texas, the old cliche of "the grass is greener on the other side," isn't true at all. Actually, the grass is brown here in the mid-west during the winter months. We do enjoy living in Texas, but we thought life would be easier here, David thought life would be easier. Unable to find the right job to fit him, David began to grow bitter, angry, depressed and farther and farther away from God. From the outside I'm sure we looked like any normal couple, two lovely children, a great house and all the things that superficially make it look like people have their lives all together. I so look up to David, I always have. His understanding of scripture is crazy, especially for his age. He can quote the Bible, he always challenges me in my thinking, yet, his understanding and belief of God's love for him was lacking. He could tell anyone else how much God loved them and longed for their heart, but he failed to believe it for himself. As the months passed, he fell farther and farther in depression. There were times when I had the thought that Eli, Emma and myself were more of a burden to him than a blessing. 

I am so fortunate that I met my best friend Kelly just months after moving to Texas. Her family lives in Florida, so she understands just how hard it is to miss her parents dearly and long for her children to grow up knowing their grandparents. There were times we'd meet at the park for our children to play and end up sharing tears together. 

David's depression came to it's highest level in January 2009. God was working on his heart in a way I never thought was possible. He was tired and that was the key to it all. He was so tired of carrying the burden, of being negative, of trying to do things on his own. One night, unable to sleep (God was keeping him awake actually), David went into our walk-in closet, knelt down on his knees and cried out to God. He told God he was tired, he told Him he couldn't do this anymore, he repented for trying to do things on his own, he ask God to guide him, to release him from bondage, to make him whole, to renew his spirit, to reveal His face to him...and boy, does God answer prayers. God heard the cries of His tired child, He rejoiced because David had finally given up.
Return tomorrow, same time, same place. It only gets better.

No comments: